The first day of my working week and I came into it feeling rested, ready and open to the possibilities, opportunities and progress that lay before me.
Then little things happened that affected my nervous system.
Such small things you’d never expect them to impact me the way they did:
My Assistant’s mouse not working properly which caused delays and slight confusion while we were screen-sharing in order to manage my inbox.
My scarf shifting frequently, needing adjustment.
The realisation that there isn’t a way to add an email within Gmail to an existing event in Google calendar.
One of my sons politely interrupting me to ask something.
My dog making a single small bark to acknowledge my son.
My own incorrect use of an apostrophe that took me a while to notice.
I felt agitation in my system so I brought my attention to my breath.
I noticed my head felt fuzzy and chaotic so I brought my attention to the garden birds that I could see from my window.
I realised my shoulders were up by my ears so I visualised them softening and sinking down.
And then my dog barked loudly, probably at the postman, and I felt everything rush up into my head.
My hands slammed over my ears and my eyes clamped shut.
My mouth said something but I don’t even know what.
This imminent meltdown experience, despite using tools available to me to support my nervous system, has zapped my energy, muddied my clarity of thought, dispersed my focus and left me wanting to crawl under a duvet and watch crime drama for the rest of the day.
The cost for me is huge.
The canary, sent into the coal mine to detect unsafe conditions, would be dead.
I will spend the rest of today actively supporting my nervous system, being present with my thoughts and emotions so that I can shift my perspective where needed and looking for ways to create ease to the best of my ability.
I will do all this because my duvet and crime drama aren’t an option for me today without incurring other costs that I feel outweigh the cost of showing up with a meltdown waiting in the wings.
Since discovering my neurodivergence almost 5 years ago I have discovered that my experience of the world is so very different to that of many others.
The way my brain and body respond to seemingly small distractions or irritations can seem irrational or unnecessary to those whose nervous systems are less sensitive.
And yet this is my reality.
Like so many other neurodivergent individuals I ‘spend’ significant time, energy and other resources to do what needs to be done despite how much it costs my sense of well-being.
This goes unnoticed by all but a few who have a keenly trained eye and ear for the signs that dysregulation is at play.
And each neurodivergent individual’s experience is different.
They say that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.
We are all different and our experiences are different.
What seems more true to me is that if you’ve met one human, you’ve met one human.
Each of us is different - we each have a unique set of needs, our preferences and interests are different to anyone else and our desires too.
What supports me may not support someone else and vice versa.
When we look to our colleagues, teams, leadership and customers we need to remember that this difference is what enables the innovation and growth we see in business and in life.
It is also the reason that many of us struggle in silence while paying a high price to show up as people expect us to.
The hidden cost might be happening inside someone's body or mind, or it may only be visible in the stacks of unwashed pots, unattended life admin and clutter on every surface while children rummage in laundry bags to find a clean t-shirt.
Your Neurodivergent colleagues are ‘the canary sent into the coal mine’ in your workplace.
If you pay attention to them and listen to them you will quickly learn what unsafe conditions might be present.
These conditions will be detected earlier by a Neurodivergent individual than someone who has thicker skin or a greater degree of nervous system resilience.
If these conditions are left unattended they creep into the cultural fabric of our businesses and organisations and lead to increased staff absence, reduced performance, compromised capability, ineffective leadership and more.
Not only do Neurodivergent individuals bring exceptional skills and expertise to our teams but they also show us the early signs of undesirable conditions due to their “Canary Capacity”.
Rather than sending your canaries in ahead to see if they survive or not, create spaces in which your canaries become valued guides as they speak the truth about the subtle forces at work against your people which are otherwise unseen until too late.
If you’d like to find out more about how Neurodiversity training can support you and your teams, let’s talk - https://bit.ly/brilliant-better-best
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