Ever been told you do deserve or you don’t deserve something based on your behaviour?
It’s such a crappy feeling isn’t it?
The idea that children’s behaviour is directly proportional to how enjoyable we make their lives is ludicrous. It defines a cruel approach to raising children that is rooted in punishment and rewards.
Punishment and rewards are rooted in fear and control.
The next time you notice yourself thinking “my child doesn’t deserve to go to the park” or “my child did so well at school at today, they deserve a treat” notice what you’re actual doing is putting conditions on their happiness, joy, peace and connection.
As many of us were raised with this sort of language it can be hard to step out of it. First we step out of speaking the words. Eventually we notice we no longer think that way.
Until one day we notice a thought like this pop up. The best thing to do? Celebrate it and express gratitude! You’ve just had a powerful invitation to go deeper with your healing and experience even more joy, peace and connection with your child – YES!
There are some things that children do deserve but they’re not related to behaviour. They are related to their humanity:
• To be heard
• Unconditional love
Focus on those things and the rest will fall into place.
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