“Of course I love my child”.


I have heard parents say, “Of course I love my child.” And it’s true.

I believe that even an abusive or neglectful parent loves their child. The degree to which they are able to show that love depends on so many things that come together – resources, experience, trauma, understanding and so on.

What does it mean to love beyond the instinctive feeling we have as parents?

It means to look at your child and accept them just as they are without desiring to control them, their behaviour or their development.

It is an act of kindness, patience, forgiveness, compassion, understanding and trust.

It is often our own fears that hold us back from being able to look at our child and say, “You do not have to change a hair for me”.

Fears for ourselves, for our children and for the future.

And yet it is unconditional love that sets us up to have the best human experience possible. Unconditional love sets us up to experience freedom and joy and connection.

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