FUCK this SHIT

I wanted to share a practical process for the emotional path of parenting with you this week.

I’ve been filming videos for my new product – The Yes Parenting Digital Pack . After an intense and thoroughly enjoyable 90 minutes filming, I had to share this acronym with you because it fed into almost every video I recorded.

Whether it’s a tantrum, a slammed door, food all over the floor or siblings fighting, you get the picture! “FUCK this SHIT” is an acronym that will help you and your child.

It is based in being mindful and conscious in how we show up to parent the child in front of us while also being present with whatever baggage we are bringing to the situation.

Start by FORGIVING yourself/your child. No matter what behaviour you’re facing, choose not to hold it against yourself/your child.

Then begin to explore why the behaviour is there so that you can hopefully reach a place of UNDERSTANDING.

Understanding helps us connect with COMPASSION so that we are sensitive and emotionally responsive to ourselves/our child.

And that leads us to treating ourselves/our child with KINDNESS. It may seem surprising but kindness is far more powerful than anger or control to bring about change.

The next part is a whole process that is essential not just to the immediate situation but to how things unfold in the future.

SILENTLY HOLD SPACE INSPIRING TRANSFORMATION. Instead of the common habit of offering solutions, trying to calm yourself/your child down, minimising what has happened and so on, we instead listen, listen, listen. Use your ears and not your mouth!

As well as silently holding space, consider how to hold a safe space physically where appropriate. You’ll also be holding an emotionally and energetically safe space when you’ve been through the first steps of this process.

When you can be calm and present you communicate the message “I understand how overwhelming these feelings are for you. You are safe. I am able to hold all this discomfort with you until you’ve got through it all”.

When you trust your child is simply making their world right, this process INSPIRES TRANSFORMATION.

At some point (and initially it may take a while as you/your child brings up lots of stuff that’s been pushed down), there will be complete change in the emotional, energetic and physical state of your child.

They will probably take a deep breath and move onto something else with complete ease and connection.

Things my children have said, letting me know I have successfully FUCKed this SHIT, are, “What’s for tea Mum?”, “Mum, can we play a game?”, “Did you know that ants communicate with a special type of hormone?”.

You might find yourself wondering what on earth has happened, and where did all the upset go. That’s normal initially! We’re so used to preventing this natural resolution and healing process that we don’t get to experience its power and elegance.

The more you do this with yourself and your kids the more you’ll experience joy, peace and connection as a parent. And they’ll experience joy, peace and connection with you!

The Yes Parenting Digital Pack available NOW. The world’s most affordable and extensive resource (to my knowledge!) for parents who desire to be compassionate, respectful and gentle. Click here to find out more.

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