A really important part of Yes Parenting is our willingness and ability to say Yes or to respond with a Yes to our children’s desires (and our own desires) as much as we can or as much as possible.
There are, of course, natural limits that will prevent us from being able to say a full Yes. These could be money, time, geographical location, practicalities of science, etc. However, there are still many ways for us to find playful, exploratory, imaginative and wonderfully expansive ways to say Yes to desires within these limits.
Before we focus on our children’s desires, I want us to start by focusing on our own. What are your desires? I’m guessing that you might find that question a bit tricky.
Many of us have grown up in an environment where we’ve squashed or silenced our desires because someone, maybe another adult or a parent, has encouraged us to do just that. Or maybe your desires were loud and clear as a child but you now believe that you aren’t worthy, that you don’t deserve your desires or perhaps you believe that you don’t have enough time, energy or money to realize them.
I want you to really start to try and get clear on what your own desires are. Take a minute. I’ll wait.
Now that you’re starting to get an idea of your desires, I want to give you 2 questions to think about:
How do you find the Yes to your own desires?
Where do you notice that your default is to push your desires away by saying things like, ”No I can’t do that at the moment” or “That’s outside of my reach” or even, “I don’t deserve that”?
I would encourage you to think about these questions and to simply notice the path that you’re walking and where you’re finding a Yes to your desires and where you’re saying no instead.
I believe that the world is this wonderful, amazing, incredible place and we have this incredible opportunity to experience a rich, dynamic, beautiful life, unique and different for each of us. I also believe that we get in our own way and prevent ourselves from living this best version of our life. How might your beliefs be getting in your way when it comes to finding a Yes to your desires?
Finally I want to encourage you to be open to your children and how they express their desires. Start noticing the language that they use and see what you can learn from them. Let your children teach you how to own your own desires. Let them teach you how to value your own desires. Let them teach you how to believe that you are worthy of everything that you desire.
As you do this, look for ways to find a Yes to your children’s desires. Even if you can’t say Yes to their actual desire, take the time, energy and attention to really explore everything that you can around their desires.
Feeling stumped about how to do this? Are you noticing that it’s really hard to find a Yes to your children’s desires because your Inner Child starts stomping her feet? I guess she feels cross because it’s not fair that your kids get this experience and she didn’t. You can learn how to honour your Inner Child and be the parent she’s needed for such a long time. I’d love to show you how – join the VIP wait list for the Yes Mamas Village: http://www.beamarshall.com/yes-mamas/